The other side of Father's Day

All work an no play makes Jack a dull boy... because his father never had time for him and now he is just drifting through life, doing whatever it is a normal 16 year old boy does when left to his own devices.

"Rub some dirt on it, quit your crying. Why can't you just be a man?" says Bobby's dad from the football bleachers.

Jared's dad never said I love you to him but he said it to three other women who showed up to their front door each week. 

Nick used up every excuse in the book to keep his friends from coming over to his house because he was embarrassed of his father who drunk away every dime that should go into keeping the house looking presentable. 

Nothing Josh ever does brings a smile to his father's face. Car rides back from his basketball games consisted of a play-by-play reenactment of Josh's failures. 

Jack gets lost in pornography.

Bobby's performance in school is getting worse.

Jared finds acceptance in a neighborhood gang.

Nick suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts.

Josh becomes aggressive and violent. 

I hate to be Mr. Downer here but not all fathers deserve a Happy Father's day card, or a new grill, or a made to order breakfast in bed. Your kids will give them to you nonetheless out of obligation, just as a father can care for his son out of obligation. Clothing, obligation. Food, obligation. Home, obligation. A son can get these things from other people other than a father. What a son cannot get from anyone else is time, energy, words, and experience invested in him from a man who loves him unconditionally and will go to hell and back again for him. 

Son's aren't looking for perfect men to be their fathers. They are looking for a man who strives to exemplify the perfect Father. 

Did you see what I did there? Hehehe. #GodtheFather

I am not a father. I won't be for a few years at least. But these are some of the stories I have heard from young men that I have ministered to or mentored over the past few years. Its heart breaking to see them become statistics one by one. Its devastating to see fathers, grown men, have the maturity of a teenager, not owning up to any responsibility or practicing any discipline. Since when did it become manly to not be a man?

Quick Fix

I have always wondered who the notorious "they" actually referred to. You know..."They say pickles are a good for your liver," or, "They say August is the month to adopt a cat." The notorious "they" is merely used to make one seem smarter in a certain subject that they know very little about. But us Christians do this all the time when it comes to our faith.

Now before I go any further, I must make myself clear. I have nothing against the writings of theologians, professors, or well known pastors. They can be very insightful and encouraging. But too often we read their books and articles and let our faith and knowledge become based on what "they" say rather than our experiences with our Savior. "You know what "they" (insert author) say about leadership," or "You know what "they" say about forgiveness." 

Be careful brothers and sisters. Some people write about personal experience, some people write with much biblical reference, some people write more with opinion. Don't take anything but the Word of God at face value. Seek the truth within the texts that coincides with Scripture.

It is a shame to see preachers preach less on the Word of God and more on the "Five Steps to a Great Marriage" that they found in a self-help book at a Christian bookstore. Be careful if what "they" say doesn't match up with what "He" says.