The other side of Father's Day

All work an no play makes Jack a dull boy... because his father never had time for him and now he is just drifting through life, doing whatever it is a normal 16 year old boy does when left to his own devices.

"Rub some dirt on it, quit your crying. Why can't you just be a man?" says Bobby's dad from the football bleachers.

Jared's dad never said I love you to him but he said it to three other women who showed up to their front door each week. 

Nick used up every excuse in the book to keep his friends from coming over to his house because he was embarrassed of his father who drunk away every dime that should go into keeping the house looking presentable. 

Nothing Josh ever does brings a smile to his father's face. Car rides back from his basketball games consisted of a play-by-play reenactment of Josh's failures. 

Jack gets lost in pornography.

Bobby's performance in school is getting worse.

Jared finds acceptance in a neighborhood gang.

Nick suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts.

Josh becomes aggressive and violent. 

I hate to be Mr. Downer here but not all fathers deserve a Happy Father's day card, or a new grill, or a made to order breakfast in bed. Your kids will give them to you nonetheless out of obligation, just as a father can care for his son out of obligation. Clothing, obligation. Food, obligation. Home, obligation. A son can get these things from other people other than a father. What a son cannot get from anyone else is time, energy, words, and experience invested in him from a man who loves him unconditionally and will go to hell and back again for him. 

Son's aren't looking for perfect men to be their fathers. They are looking for a man who strives to exemplify the perfect Father. 

Did you see what I did there? Hehehe. #GodtheFather

I am not a father. I won't be for a few years at least. But these are some of the stories I have heard from young men that I have ministered to or mentored over the past few years. Its heart breaking to see them become statistics one by one. Its devastating to see fathers, grown men, have the maturity of a teenager, not owning up to any responsibility or practicing any discipline. Since when did it become manly to not be a man?

Quick Fix

I have always wondered who the notorious "they" actually referred to. You know..."They say pickles are a good for your liver," or, "They say August is the month to adopt a cat." The notorious "they" is merely used to make one seem smarter in a certain subject that they know very little about. But us Christians do this all the time when it comes to our faith.

Now before I go any further, I must make myself clear. I have nothing against the writings of theologians, professors, or well known pastors. They can be very insightful and encouraging. But too often we read their books and articles and let our faith and knowledge become based on what "they" say rather than our experiences with our Savior. "You know what "they" (insert author) say about leadership," or "You know what "they" say about forgiveness." 

Be careful brothers and sisters. Some people write about personal experience, some people write with much biblical reference, some people write more with opinion. Don't take anything but the Word of God at face value. Seek the truth within the texts that coincides with Scripture.

It is a shame to see preachers preach less on the Word of God and more on the "Five Steps to a Great Marriage" that they found in a self-help book at a Christian bookstore. Be careful if what "they" say doesn't match up with what "He" says.

Again I Say Rejoice

It isn't too often you see a man jump for sheer joy, I mean, really jump! A good friend and coworker of mine had lost his wallet a few weeks ago on a spiritual formation retreat. Needless to say his attitude was quite dismal and I'm not quite sure if he ever ended up enjoying any of the weekend. Throughout the next few weeks nothing seemed to go right for the man. He had to get a new license, credit card, and wallet and in the meantime his computer crashed.

In all respects, he had a pretty good reason to be upset.

I had been having a rough few weeks as well, so the overall mood of our staff was dwindling. This past weekend we went back to the same place he lost his wallet, this time for a staff retreat (I guess you can say I am pretty used to retreats.) After a busy night and a difficult night's sleep, came the moment of joy. He had retraced his steps that he took three weeks ago and found his wallet and all of its contents safely where he had left it before!

I heard a disturbance and walked outside just in time to witness this man bursting out of the door, jumping and shouting for joy. What a sight! Not only was this comical but it made me smile, a lot bigger than I had in a long time with true joy. True joy that I shared with him when it wasn't even my wallet that was lost. Which reminds me of a parable told by Jesus in Luke 15.

The woman lost one of her coins and searched endlessly until she found it. When she did, she called her friends over to rejoice with her because what had worth had been lost but was now found.

Isn't this a perfect picture of the Spirit of the Lord at work? It is the Spirit that stirs in the lost souls of men to bring them to the light where they are found. And as we are told, the angels sing with much rejoicing. That same Spirit of Joy lives inside of me and my friend which explains why we can feel each other's joy and celebrate with each other (and that we did!)

In retrospect it was my reliance on my own power and disconnect from the Spirit of Joy that caused my sorrow and pain. It was his disconnect from his possessions that was causing him sorrow and pain. Together we found what we were really looking for: a Spirit of Joy.

Redeeming Culture one Movie at a Time

Movies are cool. I can honestly say that I would rather watch a movie then read a book any day. I have been called lazy, uneducated, and down right uncultured. However, for the record, I have sat through the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice which was 4 VHS tapes in length and have seen all of the movies made about Charles Dickens and Jane Austen. I think I have memorized the Sound of Music, and I find myself whistling Fiddler on the Roof from time to time. I think I am quite educated and cultured on the classics that my critics grew up enjoying. But enough of that. I want to talk about man movies, 300 in particular. 

If you have not seen the movie 300, here is the summary:

Spartans= 300 go out to battle against the wishes of the gods

Persians= tens of thousands of warriors coming to take over Greece

King of Sparta= leads his men to battle and leaves his wife behind to rally the politicians

King Xerxes of Persia= really creepy man who is covered in piercings

Spartans kill tons of Persians but are betrayed by a creepy looking Spartan (I see a theme here)

Tons of battle gore and violence and everyone dies.

If you are not 18 then don't watch it. It is rated "R" for a reason. I have discretion in what I see but I do not like to judge a movie just by its rating or by online reviews. I always like to look at how the gospel story applies to any movie I watch. I can't do that by just looking up a review online from a Christian organization because when you watch a movie, it tugs at your emotions and grips at your fears. If I was to talk with a kid about a popular movie and how the gospel applies to it, he would immediately know that I did not watch the movie and I was just shooting back information. 

But back to 300. I was almost literally standing on the couch yelling "This is Sparta!" with the King and sniffling in the end when he was pierced with many sharp pointy things. Why? Because it painted a beautiful picture of courage, determination, dedication, discipline, leadership, and love. All of these things are aspects of the Christian Gospel. I am a leader in many different areas and am challenged to live as dedicated in those areas as the King of Sparta was with his 300 soldiers. If I was to be as disciplined and courageous in my faith as he was with a blade and shield then I would be able to trample the enemy. Christ did not retreat or compromise when facing the cross alone. He did what needed to be done out of dedication and love to the Father. Wow. 

Try it next time before you write off a movie as unholy, blasphemous, and from the devil. There are a lot of things we can understand about our culture so that we may be fully equipped to minister to the people living in it.

Sacrifice: Receiving it, Living it, Giving it

"Sacrifice is the ultimate expression of the Holy Spirit's love." ~ Oswald Chambers

Sacrifice is often well intended but commonly misplaced. Bruno Mars might catch a grenade for you and jump in front of a train for you but take a second look and he is his own time bomb and his life is already a train wreck.

Sacrifice without the Holy Spirit is an expression of a love that is shallow and that dissolves when trials come.  It misleads, deceives, and indirectly makes a joke of the sacrifice of Christ. Shallow love is often the cause for most relationships and equally the blame for the brokenness that quickly follows.
 Sacrifice with the Holy Spirit is an expression of a love that goes beyond emotion and words and perseveres through the darkest hours and deepest doubts.

 John 10:10, "I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly." Funny thing is Christ didn't have a Cadillac Escalade, He rode a donkey. He didn't have a yacht or season passes to Hershey Park, he borrowed fishing boats and washed people's feet. But Christ truly knew how to live, didn't he? He was "...regarded as poor but making many rich, as having nothing but possessing all things (II Cor. 6:10)."

He lived a life of complete sacrifice to the Father,  That whole idea of life abundantly meant complete submission and sacrifice to the Lord. Sounds backwards to those who haven't been on the receiving end of true Love.

"It is finished" ~ Jesus Christ

Life is Ministry

After an extended leave of absence from the world of blogging to partake in what I like to call "Kingdom Work", I have emerged psychologically disturbed, emotionally distraught, and physically exhausted. What I am ecstatic about is that despite my current state I have indeed made it to the end of another year of summer camp running solely on the power of the Holy Spirit. In our weakness Christ' power is made manifest in ways that to the eye seem humanly impossible. That, my friends, is ministry.

I am going to be a senior at Geneva College this semester which surfaces many future uncertainties that haunt any thoughts I may have of graduation. I know that I am being called to ministry but that is like picking a genre of book to read at the library and staring at the walls and walls of choices. What if I don't like the book? What if it is scary? What if it is something I won't understand? So I find myself in a state of weakness and vulnerability once again where I can do nothing but trust the Lord's guidance. Sound familiar?

Life is ministry.

I am not finished with ministry like I had thought. When the last camper stepped onto that bus to leave Promise Camp, I let myself think that I was finished with ministry for a while. I could do without the heartache week after week, the exhaustion, the frustration. But after thinking about it, if I ever find myself in a position where I am not living by faith in the Holy Spirit to sustain me then I am not a living testimony of the grace and faithfulness of God. Ministry.

I applaud those who have gone before me and lived faithful lives of ministry. They have shown that despite the trials and valleys in life, the Light of Christ has truly defeated the darkness that fills the earth. I am proud to serve that same God and be that Light to the youth of Pittsburgh. I am eager and willing to live wholeheartedly for the sake of the Cross because I know what is at stake.

The Idol of Cotnrol

Control is nothing short of being an idol; it is a lie, empty in its promises and deep in its consequences. 

Men are taught from a young age to control their emotions and situations in a way that makes true intimate friendships almost impossible to obtain.When they face times of weakness and vulnerability and their own strength fails, who then can they turn to? How can the fix things themselves?

The answer is simple: they control something else. We shouldn't be surprised when young men become enslaved to pornography, drugs, and alcohol, and we certainly shouldn't be shocked that self-mutilation and suicide are on the rise among male adolescents. After all, they can be used as ways to make a guy feel in control of his body and emotions. There are some people enslaved to this world who would choose to point a gun back at themselves and pull the trigger in order to control even the ending of their life. Young men don't know how to ask for help because they are slaves to their own idol of control. 

Truth: we have never been in control of anything and will continue to be a slave to our own delusions until we believe in the one whom all authority in heaven and earth has been given. 

Christian men, are you raising your children in the way that they should go? Are your teaching them the value of humility and meekness? Christ did not come to control, but came from his majesty and gave himself up for us. Have we (speaking as one with great influence upon younger people) pushed this idea of an "alpha male" upon today's adolescents? Have we made ourselves available to listen to the concerns and troubles of their heart? Are we willing to show our own weaknesses and vulnerabilities with them in order to let them know it is healthy? Is our exertions of control hurting our sons and daughters?

"My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness...On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand."